Happy New Year! (and Hello Autumn)

It’s never too early to start on resolutions, right? Plus, we look at a couple of amusing article examples and think a bit about bucket lists.

Photo by alex geerts on Unsplash

You read the title correctly. I haven’t got my seasons or time of year mixed up. I’m not way too late, or a bit early. And I am not talking about Rosh Hashanah, though for any of my readers who do celebrate, let me say a hearty “Leshana tova tikateivu!” to you.

As a teacher, I’ve always looked to the start of autumn (or fall, if you prefer) as the start of a new year. Some teachers think in academic terms, and see a new school year as a new year, full stop. This is what I do, and it’s often when I start to make my resolutions for the coming year.

But never mind resolutions. The summer is more or less over (but technically not until around 21 September) and everyone is back from holiday and back to work and school. There’s never a bad time to start making changes and resolutions in your lives, and that starts with students becoming even better and more conscientious learners.

Plenty of people hate the idea of making resolutions and there are many, the author included, who don’t even like the idea of setting goals. This is a topic I’ve talked about a lot before (you could even say ad nauseam) - the general gist of it is ‘fewer goals, more consistent habits.’ So instead of saying “I want to reach the C2 level” or “I want to be able to read Shakespeare or The Hobbit in the original”, try saying, “I’m going to spend at least 30 minutes every day doing something in English.” Because as we teachers like to say, “use it or lose it”. It is, unfortunately, so easy to lose your language skills, or even let them get a bit rusty when you don’t regularly expose yourself to language. Any and all exposure is good.

For non-language learners, this goes for anything: exercise, cooking, reading books, picking up a new skill, making TikTok videos, personal hygiene…

Goals and resolutions are fine, of course, but make them realistic and achievable. Rather than something probably unattainable like “I’m going to get a perfect 9.0 on IELTS” or “I’m going to write a best-selling novel which will sell more copies than all the Harry Potter books combined”, it’s better to have more grounded ambitions like “I’m going to read 10 pages of Marcus Aurelius every day” or “I’m going to make at least one meal from scratch every week.” For me, the best resolution I’ve ever made was probably around a decade ago when I started drinking my coffee black. No more milk, no more sugar and except for the occasional flat white (but never with sugar), I’ve stuck to that and it’s been one of the best decisions of my life.

Bucket lists and confronting mortality

There are those who hate resolutions and goals and there are those who positively loathe the idea of bucket lists.

But first, a quick refresher on every student’s favourite area of grammar: articles.

Articles! Dreaded, blasted, ghastly articles! Those nasty, pesky, malodorous little bastards that make life hell for language learners!

Is it ‘a’ hospital? Or ‘the’ hospital? Or just hospital?

Who cares!

There are so many damn rules to remember and honestly, the vast majority of the time, you probably won’t have any major miscommunication if you use an article incorrectly (I talk about this in more detail in my book).

Kick the bucket: to die

Kick a bucket: to literally kick a bucket

Bucket list: a list of the things that a person would like to do or achieve before they die

“Why did you just kick a bucket?”

“Because I was angry and I wanted to! And it was in my way.”

“Teacher, my uncle just kicked the bucket.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Don’t be. He was a jerk. And anyway, he left me $1000, so I’m happy the old fool bought the farm.”

Buy the farm: to die

Buy a farm: to literally buy a farm

You can see the potential for confusion in the classroom.

“Teacher, my uncle just kicked a bucket.”

“Oh, that’s interesting. Why did he do that?”

“Why? Why? […crying…] I don’t think he had a choice to get killed by that falling piano…”

“Teacher, my uncle just bought the farm.”

“Oh, dear, I’m so sorry to hear that. You must feel awful.”

“Yeah, I do. Now he wants me to work with him as a farmer. I don’t want to be a farmer, though, I want to pursue my dream in the circus as a lion tamer.”

“Ah, so he’s still alive? Thank goodness.”

“Thank goodness? I wish he was dead, then I wouldn’t have to be a farmer.”

“So, he bought a farm, you mean?”

“Yeah, that’s what I said, he bought the farm. Geez, what kind of teacher are you, don’t you listen?”

[Teacher shaking head…]

You get the idea.

Along with resolutions, some people love making bucket lists which, along with some goals, are often unrealistic or unattainable. Make them more achievable and you’re more likely to do it. Follow the KISS principle: Keep It Simple, Stupid!

Sure, it’s fine to want to travel around the world on a camel, or to get your entire body tattooed (definitely not impossible) or to reach 1,000,000 Instagram followers. But more humble resolutions can be just as enjoyable and even more of a fun challenge. I find that combining an unusual and creative resolution with something easily attainable is just as pleasurable to think about.

There was a time when I had something on my bucket list that I thought I’d be able to do, but now it looks pretty iffy. When I came [back] to Ukraine in 2010, I vowed to go to a football match for every Ukrainian Premier League team, which included Zorya Luhansk, Shakhtar Donetsk and FC Mariupol, among a few others. Impossible, no. Difficult, yes. But one day…

These days, one of my so-called bucket list items is to take an overnight transatlantic flight from the US to Europe on 31 December. I want to ‘celebrate’ the New Year in the air. Funnily enough, I don’t really like the New Year that much (I’m much more into Christmas) and one of the best new year ‘celebrations’ I’ve ever had was in the small town of Antequerra, Spain in 2007-8, when I was hobbled with a broken toe, all alone in a hotel room, soaking in a bubble bath, eating an entire roasted chicken I was lucky to grab right before closing time, drinking a small bottle of champagne and reading War and Peace as the clock hit midnight. Actually, I didn’t even realise the New Year had started until much later, around 1 or 2am when I heard fireworks outside. In Spain, many people celebrate quietly with family and then have the big party later. I wasn’t feeling particularly cheerful that year (further details can be found in the blog post I share below) and my original plans had fallen through, leaving me feeling a bit mopey. But instead, unexpectedly, I had a wonderful New Year because it was so low-key and I didn’t even notice the passing of 2007. I was relaxed, content with my food and drink, and thoroughly engrossed in my book.

So with my transatlantic flight idea, I won’t even know what time exactly midnight hits because of the shifting time zones, and half the plane will be asleep anyway and I’ll just be sat there with my 3^rd glass of wine either watching one of the Bourne films or reading a Martin Amis book.

Like some teachers – I don’t want to throw all my colleagues around the world under the bus here! – I can be a bit of a hypocrite at times. I’ll tell my students about good vocabulary learning techniques and then I don’t even follow my own advice when learning a language (shame on me). I think the general idea of resolutions and bucket lists is a bit daft, but they can be amusing to talk about with friends: “Hey, what’s on your bucket list?” Or it’s often just a conversational gambit: “Have you ever been to Easter Island? No, but it’s on my bucket list.” It’s probably not literally on that person’s bucket list, but in effect it’s just another way of saying “I’d like to do that one day.”

“Got any tattoos?”

“No, but it’s on my bucket list.”

Don’t wait for the New Year to do something new or revisit good habits. Get cracking now!

Speaking of kicking the bucket

In my last post, if you remember, I talked about obituaries, and my perhaps irrational fear of missing the news of an important someone’s death.

And just a few hours after posting, I came across this:

“In the past few months, grief has coursed around the internet for Martin Amis, Cormac McCarthy, Tina Turner and, most recently, Jimmy Buffett. If you stop to think about it, many such outpourings for writers, actors and musicians are odd, even irrational.”

Looks like I’m not the only one (phew). It’s all apparently perfectly rational, as the article says: Lots of people mourn when famous writers and musicians die. Why?

Obituaries in and of themselves are an art form, and in particular I think the Economist each week features some of the finest examples in this oeuvre. I’ll share just one more with you, if you’re curious to read about one of my favourite writers: Martin Amis was the lurid chronicler of a whole generation

And finally, good riddance to summer and hello autumn!

Continuing with the ‘being irrational’ theme, summer is my least favourite season and autumn is my favourite (half of my readers are probably cursing at me right now). With that in mind, let me share with you a post from just over two years ago, at the end of summer 2021:

I don’t like you, summer, but it’s still sad you’re gone: some nostalgia and stories

Have you got any interesting resolutions or things on your bucket list? Or just some questions for me? If so, put them in the comments below.

As always, thanks for reading.