What on earth are you waiting for?
It’s time to get your book – we’ve already got a 5-star review!
At least Clementine, my sister’s cat, is enjoying it so far.
You can never have too much politeness, right?
So, a big thank you to those who have purchased the book, the early feedback is decent so far (touch wood), and for those of you who have yet to get it – what on earth is wrong with you?
I’ve been accused of being too polite and too apologetic, but I figure more politeness wouldn’t be such a bad thing in society. How hard is it to say ‘thank you’ when someone holds the door open, or treats you to a coffee or beer? A little politeness goes a long way, if it’s meaningful and not excessive.
On that note, thanks also to those who have been helpful with trying to promote the book, sharing it on social media and trying to get people to notice it. I appreciate it.
And I’m thrilled to bits that I’ve got my first review, on goodreads. The review itself is a mini masterpiece, exceptionally well-written, and trust me when I say that I absolutely cannot take any credit for this reviewer’s sublime language ability. I won’t shamelessly share it here, but if you’d like to have a look:
(This reader also very astutely noticed a mistake, but I won’t tell you what it is. In fact, I would be surprised if anyone spots it. Hey, we’re not all perfect.)
And look at this – I’m the #1 new release in ‘General Ukraine and Belarus Travel Guides’ on Amazon:
Questions you do not need to ask, and therefore shouldn’t:
Why has Amazon lumped Ukraine and Belarus together? (Lonely Planet still publishes a ‘Ukraine and Belarus’ guidebook)
What’s A Classroom in Kyiv doing in this category, is it a travel guide? (no)
And honestly, how the hell many new releases are there in this category every week? (no comment – let’s be optimistic, shall we?)
Please keep the reviews coming, whether on Amazon, goodreads, my website, in graffiti on your town walls, wherever – all I ask for is total honesty. If there are things you don’t like or disagree with, please say so. I promise not to be upset or kick you off my mailing list.
I’m glad that some people - and not just cats - seem to be benefiting from it so much. Here’s one early reader’s rave reviews:
If you read my Acknowledgements, you will see just how ‘helpful’ my sister has been.
Stop saying thank you! Stop using exclamation marks! (!)
I’ve crapped on about this ad nauseam, but I don’t think I’ll ever understand saying ‘thank you for your email’ for unsolicited emails (even worse is putting it in your ‘out-of-office’ automatic replies. Why are you thanking me? You didn’t ask me to send you this, you numpty!)
I call this the unsolicited thank you. It’s not warranted if you didn’t ask for it. By all means, say something like ‘thank you for responding so promptly’ if you were expecting a response, but for goodness’ sake, there’s no need to thank someone for an email they weren’t expecting. Take it from me – I’m pretty damn polite but even I find it excessive.
We could also talk about the ‘I hope this email finds you well’ nonsense. Serious question: does anyone see this in an email and think ‘ah, how nice of them, they hope their email finds me well’? Does anyone get an email that doesn’t have this and think ‘what a jerk! He didn’t ask me if his email finds me well. Well, guess what – I’m not feeling well.’
Compare it to unsolicited advice – not many people appreciate advice they didn’t ask for. Occasionally it might be welcome and useful, but it usually just pisses people off.
Over the years, students have asked me some version of “what about teachers, you’re always giving us unsolicited advice”?
Okay, but two points: one, it’s good advice. Trust us. We know what you need and any advice we give – the advice in my book, for example – is good and you should follow it. Two, technically it’s not unsolicited. By signing up for classes, or employing us as your teacher, you are, in effect, accepting the fact that you will be getting advice and therefore, it’s perfectly solicited.
Got that? Good – now shut up and do as you’re told!
Here’s an email I received the other day:
Dear Daniel,
Thank you for reaching out to us. Unfortunately, we are unable to assist you with your request.
Should I respond with ‘Thank you for allowing me to contact you?’
I’m not done with my ‘thank you’ rant: I recently emailed a certain customer support with a book-related issue. I got this automated response: ‘Thanks for your email, we try to get back to all email inquiries within 1 working day!’
Do people working in customer support want to receive emails? Is that why they say, ‘thanks for your email’? Are they thinking, ‘wonderful, some idiot emailed with a trivial problem that’s so easy to fix, now I get to deal with this instead of faffing about on TikTok and I can feel better about honestly earning my salary’?
Secondly, why that exclamation mark in that sentence? Totally unnecessary!!!
That’s another issue in society at large: a general overuse of exclamations! (necessary exclamation) I’m reading a very instructive and illuminating book about the publishing industry, but I’m having trouble dealing with the endless exclamation marks! Like, almost every sentence has one! For even the most basic, banal sentences! Seriously, fewer exclamation marks, please!
One of my favourite words is perfunctory. Most of the time, ‘how are you?’ is perfunctory. Men shaking each other’s hands every time they see each other is perfunctory. ‘Thank you, have a nice day!’ in a shop is perfunctory. I suppose we have no choice; we have to do these things as a social convention in today’s society, and if we don’t, we look like assholes.
We all use too much insincere language these days. There are worse things that we could be doing, but a bit more genuineness might go some way into making the world a better place.
(the world might also be a better place if you buy my book!)
Don’t forget to subscribe. Even if you don’t want the book, you can continue reading my Substack material for free, and again, thank you to those who have financially pledged your support. But there’s really no need – I want to keep this free, and I won’t be taking your money. If you want to give me money, buy the damn book!
Visit my website and/or get it directly from Amazon: https://danielpuzzo.com/
Kyiv-based friends – help! (another very necessary exclamation mark)
I’ve been trying to organise something – events, signings, etc – but without any luck so far. I’ve contacted every bookshop and publisher I know, and they’re not interested in small fry like me. If anyone has any contacts or suggestions, I’m all ears. We can even organise a gathering in a café that wouldn’t mind me occupying a table for a few hours and trying to peddle some books. Get in touch if you can help.
For the final time, thank you!
(But this? This is just ridiculous…I had no other choice you dimwits!)
