New Book Out, Three More Coming

My latest release plus details of more on the way

I’m not sure I know what I’m doing, but hey, let’s talk about all these damn books I’ve written.

All with the help of ChatGPT – that’s the secret, kids!

I’M JUST KIDDING!!!

Let’s dive in.

1 My latest book, out now:

I won’t share the entire blurb, just the beginning and the end. If you are curious, it’s easy to find (hint hint).

Spice up your English learning!

Do you find the usual methods of improving your English painfully dull? Do you groan every time you’re faced with yet another coursebook exercise?

Fear not – help is here! No More Boring Worksheet(s) is just what you need to spice up your language learning. Perfect for both learners and teachers, this book of quirky tales and creative resources will make learning a delight…

…No More Boring Worksheet(s) promises to entertain, enlighten, and maybe even teach you a thing or two.

My target audience is very much language learners but guess what – it’s FREE for a limited time and I would highly encourage everyone, whoever you are, to download it and at the very least skim it. You can skip the language learning content and advice and marvel at the creative and chaotic mess going on in my head. It’s a collection of resources – mainly stories and off-the-wall dialogues – I designed for my students from 2005-2023, accompanied by contemporary commentary and some fresh stories featuring my usual witty insight and lousy humour.

Please don’t make me beg – oh, but I will if need be! – but I would be ever so grateful if you could review the damn thing.

I’ve already had one glowing review:

Looks like joining LinkedIn wasn’t a waste of time after all!

You can get the book here and if it doesn’t show up as free on Amazon (they’re a pain to work with) then it will definitely be free elsewhere. I know people have strong feelings about Amazon, but may I nudge you in that direction? (you know, the rankings, reviews, and algorithm and all that). Otherwise, it’s available at Apple, Kobo, Barnes & Noble, Thalia, James Thin, Waldenbooks and other select retailers.

If you’d like a print edition, that’s not a problem. Just convert the format into a PDF or Word document and then print it off yourself. Then take it somewhere to have it bound.

Go on, give it a [quick] read/skim/flick through: No More Boring Worksheet(s)

Book 2: Another guide for language learners

People think I’m nuts when I tell them how many books I’ve got on the go. Why not focus on one at a time, they ask.

Full disclosure: I really don’t know what the hell I’m doing, or what my book-writing strategy is, but this is my rationale. Like many authors, marketing is not my strength. I’m working on it (see my previous post on social media) and have some other ideas to consider, but my confirmation bias is acting up here when I say that I’m following my favourite piece of marketing advice: write more books.

That’s what I enjoy doing the most and so that’s what I’ve done.

The tentatively titled The Well-Rounded Language Learner follows a similar approach to No More Boring Worksheet(s) – making language learning fun and engaging. Like my first book, A Classroom in Kyiv: Life Lessons for English Learners, these books aim to be quirky and unique, a far cry from traditional language learning materials. A Classroom in Kyiv was written to appeal to a broader audience, offering an enjoyable and insightful read rather than a dry coursebook. Whether I’ve succeeded – well, you be the judge.

The Well-Rounded Language Learner is a series of texts ranging from B1 in the Common European Framework of Languages (Intermediate) to C2 (Proficiency), gradually increasing in difficulty. It covers the range of topics you’d find in a typical coursebook: food, travel, music, sport, hobbies, film, books, the future, family, technology, Romanian politics, business, etc but with a more conversational, light-hearted tone.

I wrote the first draft in October and bits of December and have yet to revise it. I’ll get to that just as soon as I finish…

Book 3: My first novel, shortly to be serialised right here on Substack

I wrote the first draft of this in November for NaNoWriMo (you remember what that means, right? Just in case: National Novel Writing Month). I got my first draft done by 30 November, with 53,000 words.

But it wasn’t complete. I ran out of time and put off the conclusion until the middle of February. I’m now in the final editing stages and we’re at 65,000 words.

I had a blast with it and got way too carried away at times. So much so, that it’s proving to be a nightmare tying up all the loose ends, plot holes, cliffhangers, and chapters ending with things like ‘but little did they know what was in store’ and ‘as we will soon see, that wasn’t her biggest mistake’. I somehow need to figure out what the hell will be in store and what her biggest mistake turns out to be. It’s a mess.

I could start serialising it right now, but…I’d hate to realise that there was a serious flaw in chapter 1 or 2 that would screw the rest of it up, so I want to be 100% sure that at least chapters 1-4 are good to go before I release those.

A few brief details on the story: it’s about two English teachers, Samuel Witt and Groucho Marks. Each of them has a major dilemma life and death dilemma to deal with. Samuel is told by his doctor that due to a rare heart and neurological condition, finishing the book he is writing will kill him. He’s desperate to get it done because of his perilous financial situation, but he doesn’t want to leave his wife a widow and his son fatherless. He resorts to increasingly desperate means, legal and illegal, to make ends meet.

Groucho is a grumpy hypochondriac also working on his book, but he’s terrified he’s going to die before he can get it finished. His unorthodox teaching methods and inappropriate use of language in the classroom see him repeatedly get into trouble, and things take an unexpected turn for the worse the more he stirs things up.

(Don’t even ask - neither of these characters is BASED ON ME, no way, the thought should not even cross your mind.)

I’m hopeless with blurbs and synopses, that’s the best I can come up with for now.

Book 4: A Month of Musings (haha), first draft finished

Oh yeah, an entire month of musings!

This is a bit niche/inside joke, so bear with me while I elaborate.

musings: your thoughts or comments on something you have been thinking about carefully and for a long time.
(Cambridge dictionary)

This has been a long-running fascination of mine.

If you spend time inside the Substack ecosystem, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.

The word MUSINGS IS EVERYWHERE. In people’s profiles, they’re musing on this, musing on that. So many musings. I posted a Note once joking that after a thorough statistical analysis, 38% of all Substackers include the word musings in their profile.

There’s nothing wrong with the word at all! It’s a perfectly acceptable word. I simply find this amusing.

There are even publications with musings in the title:

I subscribe to two of these: Medieval Musings and the wonderfully, uniquely named Musings, by

Caitlin E. Myers

, who has now declared me her ‘arch-nemesis’ for my trolling, but at least still found it in her heart to recommend my Substack. Sort of:

(Living Elsewhere is an excellent newsletter by

Gregory Garretson

)

Here’s a random profile:

Here’s my not at all pretentious profile – notice any musings?

Because I have A LOT of stuff on my mind, much of which I’ve been thinking about for a long time, and because I’m tempted to post 3-4 times a week, boring the pants off my readers even more than I already do so, I instead decided to try to replicate my NaNoWriMo experience and write around 1,000 words a day on a wide and eclectic mix of topics.

Details coming soon, but it’s a real hodgepodge of musings, that’s for sure!

Social Media update

I’m up to a whopping 8 followers on TikTok and have posted 3 videos. Hey, it’s a work in progress, and I’ve already caused a stir:

I have no idea why TikTok put this restriction on under-18s. Is it because I talked about nostalgia – does that somehow trigger teenagers? Did my mention of ‘reminiscing’ and ‘waxing nostalgic’ provoke some kind of negative reaction? Or was it my story about my high school dance and stepping on my dance partner’s feet for the entire eight minutes of Guns N’ Roses’ November Rain that hit too close to home?

Now I get what they mean by the snowflake generation.

As you can see, I’m reeling the viewers in with my charm:

Um, I think this is pretty self-explanatory you nitwits. Viewers stopped watching as soon as I opened my damn mouth!

Here’s my new potential strategy, courtesy of my sister:

Lastly,

GET MY WRETCHED BOOK!

(the first one is still available too, by the way)